If I end up in a wheelchair like that old dude from Breaking Bad just remember that one ring of the bell means to bring me a beer and three rings means I want to go to a strip club (two rings means #2, of course). Thanks for being there for me.
P.S. When I ring twice I mean that in the past tense so chop, chop and don't be stingy with the Handi Wipes®.
P.P.S. Even if I could talk I would still have a bell on my wheelchair. And please remember, when I label this entry under "Humor" I am being very generous with that word.
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